Briana Buckmaster about Bullying & Body Image

Briana Buckmaster // seen in Supernatural

I’m ‘Biting the Bullet’ to say, your power isn’t found in a nutritional label.

I’ve been considered a big girl all my life. People loved to make jokes at my expense. As a 9 year old I was made fun of for how I looked in bathing suits at birthday parties.

As a high schooler, I was bullied endlessly whilst walking down the hall or raising my hand in class. It seemed the world was laughing at me. And yet, a very common question asked of me was “Where on earth do you get your confidence?”

It was always such a strange question. First off, why was everyone so shocked that a girl like me was confident? I mean, you think girls who shop at the plus-size stores don’t really deserve to hold their head high occasionally? But my thing was – I hadn’t really decided that I indeed WAS confident.

I still cried in the bathroom when people made oinking sounds at me. I still daydreamed about waking up looking like the women in my fashion magazines. And I, like most people in the world, generally felt like I had no idea what I was doing the majority of the time.

But I did like to laugh. A lot. And I REALLY liked to make other people laugh. A LOT.

Slowly I realized that the feeling I had after a perfectly timed punchline, or the high I got when someone asked me to “act out that bit again” far outweighed the pain of lame unoriginal jokes that were made at my expense.

So it’s interesting to me to be described as confident. I just like to think that I’m funny. And loud. I want things for my life. And I’m not shy about stating that. If that’s confidence, then sure.

I guess I’ve got it. But, I also have a long history of crying in bathrooms and not fitting into bathing suits. I just make sure to remind people that that’s the least fun part about me.