Categories
Anxiety Bipolar Depression

Tammy Iny about BIPOLAR and DEPRESSION

Tammy Iny

Depression and anxiety can lead to severe self-loathing, ultimately resulting in self stigmatization, guilt and desperation to ‘heal’ yourself.

When these self-defeating expectations took over, I found myself feeling like I needed to punish myself. I lost myself and acted out physically against myself. Not once, but twice, I have lashed out at myself by bashing my own face in. My eyes were swollen shut, my hands bruised, and as I thought about how I would explain this away to others, I felt even more shame.

Depression is a painful cycle that is all-encompassing. It physically hurts to be awake and I found myself sick all the time, rendering me physically and mentally too weak to leave my house for anything, including work and errands, such as groceries.

That went on for 3 years. Even then, it took me a year to pursue professional help. Don’t ask yourself ‘why is this happening’, depression doesn’t need a reason, and focusing on the ‘why’ can lead you down a dark place.

My next hurdle was finding the proper balance between my medications and therapy. The side effects of medications can be hard, and will take a toll on you physically, but your perseverance is worth it. I have successfully gone from 7 psychiatric meds to only 2. By choosing to seek help, I accomplished two years of psychological and biological therapy, including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in conjunction with my medications. I began volunteering at my treating clinic, I spoke at events, gave interviews and I eventually returned to work. Full-time.

The self-awareness that originally felt like a curse, has actually turned out to be a blessing. I am able to feel ‘episodes’ coming on now, which allow me to stop any crashes before it’s too late. I finally see my value and have become strong enough to guide others through their journeys.

I’m ‘Biting the Bullet’ to share something I was long ashamed of because I believe sharing your story of struggle can save someone’s life.

‘Because right know, there is someone out there with a wound in the exact shape of your words’.” – Sean Thomas Dougherty.

Categories
Bullying Fear Self-doubt

Jessica Harmon about ACNE and IMPERFECTIONS

Jessica Harmon // seen in The 100 and iZombie

There are big changes that need to be addressed in this world, most of which are far bigger than the pimple on your nose.

I’m ‘Biting the Bullet’ to share that I’ve battled acne for 14 years in an industry averse to imperfections.

It’s something I’ve felt limited my career opportunities but not my way of life. Sure there are days when I feel I look like shit but that’s more related to how I have felt internally, and in the moment I blame my exterior. We live in an imperfect world and the only standard we should be held to is our own.

Ironically the industry I work in has helped me to let go of the need to impress others. The fact that someone could think less of you based on your weight, blemishes, hair and most importantly race, is absurd. Those people are unhappy in their hearts and they deserve your empathy not your consideration. 

I’ve been told many times I didn’t book a role due to my weight or my look. My ability as an actor wasn’t even discussed. I’ve seen beautiful young women brought to tears and worse self-harm because they don’t know their place in this world, they don’t know the beauty within them, they take what the world tells them to heart.

For a long time, women have been told what we need to look like to be considered beautiful, how we need to dress to impress or attract others. Our definition of beauty is being defined by a bunch of assholes whose opinion you in no way should take to heart. In fact, you should laugh in the face of it. The next time someone knocks you down, get up, get up and offer to help with whatever is clearly wrong in their life that taking their pain out on others is their only way of communicating their turmoil.

There are big changes that need to be addressed in this world, most of which are far bigger than the pimple on your nose. Children are frightened to go to school in America because there’s a legitimate chance they will be shot.

Millions of people in this world are starving, or without a home or in the middle of a war put on them by the same asshole people that take time to say things like “grab her by the pussy”. I can tell you right now my time is far better spent grabbing my own god damn pussy than putting on makeup so there will be a better chance you may wanna grab it too. 

Let’s stop judging the beautiful souls around us based on some outdated opinion of what your tits should look like. Look down, that’s how they should look.

Take that wasted time and put it into something that inspires you.

If we love ourselves we’ll have a lot more time to show that love to others and affect the bigger changes we desperately as a world need.  Support the people that are real.

Celebrities aren’t just like you. They have teams of people paid exorbitant amounts of money to make them look “better” than you. Plus they’re airbrushed to hell.

Stop buying into it and the industry will have to change for you. Support the shows honoring real people.

Being a grateful, happy, loving person is all the beauty the world needs from any of us.

Categories
Child Assault Rape

Candice Castle about CHILD ASSAULT and TEENAGE RAPE

Candice Castle

I’m ‘Biting the Bullet’ to share I’m a victim of child assault and teenage rape. I was just a normal kid, I had an amazing life ahead of me until one day it all changed.

I was 8yr old at my mother’s apt. She left me there with her boyfriend n he had a friend come over. I was in the middle of the floor watching TV. I got up to go to my room and my mom’s boyfriend’s friend was there. I didn’t know what to say or do. He told me to come here, to sit on the floor near him. He undone my pants n I said no and I screamed. No one came at all. He threaten me for months that if I told anyone he would hurt my brother the way he did me. I cried myself to sleep for years. Every time he came around I hid from him.

When I was in the 6th grade I came out about my assault in the middle of health class. I broke down screaming and crying when we were learning about assault in class. The teacher took me over to the side and asked me whats wrong. I told her a man assaulted me at age 8. She didn’t know what to say. She hugged me, took me to the counsellor then he called my mom.

I told my mom and she felt angry towards the man. She wanted justice for me. We went to the cops. But since I waited too long nothing was done. Then years later I turned 16 and I went with a friend to a party at another house. No adults were there. Just a bunch of teenage boys, 17 and 18 of age. I thought nothing of it. They were all getting high n drinking. Me and my friend went upstairs. She went into one room and I got taken into another room where there were 6 six guys. I was in horror, scared. I got thrown up against the bed. I was gang rape by 6 six guys. I didn’t know what to do. I pulled up my pants n grab my friend n left. She asked me what’s wrong. I couldn’t tell her so she went home n so did I. I told my brother n mother. My mom felt like she failed me again but she didn’t. I told her it wasn’t her fault. For months we tried to get justice for me but once again not enough evidence is what cops told me.

I’m sharing this story for everyone to know you are not alone in this world. I’m here, I’ll listen. This group has helped me so much in overcoming my past and I want to thank you @farrahaviva and #bitethebulletstories for allowing me to share my story.

To anyone out there just know you’re not alone, don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself and know its never your fault. Don’t ever be afraid to speak up for your rights. It’s never the victim’s fault. Know you have others you can turn to, and this group too. I’m here. And years later I am one happy soul and caring for others as well. Yes, it gets to me at times but I just look up and tell myself you got this you are not at fault. I want people to know that a few years later that first man assaulted another girl, he was caught and sentenced to 15 years.

Again, I thank you Farrah, and BITE THE BULLET Stories for everything you do.